Main Pairing: Bella and Edward
LJ Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Also on ff.net
Summary: Welcome to an experiment in dark humor, with alternating emphasis on the "dark" and the "humor." To tell you the truth, I'm not sure where exactly this story is taking me; unlike my other stories, the whole thing isn't prewritten. Hopefully it's still fun, though. My thanks to Ms. Meyer, for creating such memorable characters and for not minding that we all play with them.
Preview of Chapter 7: Time Is On My Side
It was such a silly thing, but she found herself wondering who his girlfriend might be. Obviously he saw her every day—he always smelled of her, whoever she was. On the rare occasions when she arrived at school before the Cullens did, she noticed Edward always did the driving and led the others into the main building, but she never saw him arrive alone or sneak away to meet someone, and he always sat with his family at lunch, no one else. She could only conclude that he was a) stopping off at his girlfriend’s house very early each morning while his siblings waited in the car, which was unlikely—Rosalie didn’t look like the type to wait for anyone; b) sleeping at the lady’s house every night and picking his family up for school, which made sense until she Google-mapped his family’s address and realized they lived too far away from town and from anyone else for him to be the one doing all that driving; c) secretly making out with a teacher during or between classes (and good on him for being the only Cullen not to date his sister), or d) he just liked wearing middle-aged women’s body spray.
Wearing Bath and Body Works products was probably the most normal thing about him.