Characters/Pairing: Edward and Bella. All of the other Twilight couples will show their faces. :D
Spoilers: There's no spoilers to any of the books. This is a BIG AU and there will be a lot of lemons
Summary: Bella and Edward are best friends who secretly loved each other but what happens when they add benefits to their relationship?
Notes: BIG thanks to Emma (catalysted). ILU, bb! And this is the last chapter.
Read chapter. 18 - The many insecurities here or start with the preface .
I sat at the kitchen table, looking aimlessly outside. It was bright and sunny out and I felt like it was mocking me. Everyone was happy because the sun was finally out but I was not. By the time I took a sip of my coffee, it was cold. I didn't care, though.
“Hey, Bella,” Alice greeted me as she walked out of her bedroom.
“Hi,” I mumbled out.
“If I ask you how you are, will you tell me another bullshit lie?”
“Well, today feels like a....'bullshit lie' day.” I took a drink of my cold coffee as I heard her sigh. My cell phone, which was right next to me, started to vibrate.
I didn't have to look at the caller ID to know that it was him. Edward had been calling non-stop since I left his apartment. I knew he wanted answers but I didn't have any to give. I didn't know why I thought he was too good for me. I wanted nothing more then to be in Edward's arms right now but I couldn't let go of my insecurities.
Without any warning, Alice picked up my cell phone and answered it.
“Hello, Edward....Yes, this is your sister.”
I just stared at her, surprise. I couldn't help but to feel a little pang of jealously that she was talking to him when I wanted so badly. I tried not to listen to Alice talk to Edward but I couldn't stop the longing to hear his voice. I finished my coffee by the time she got off the phone.
“Bella?” Alice asked.
“Yeah,” I choked out, scared that she was going to tell me what Edward said.
“Get over it.”
I just stared at her with wide eyes.
Alice rolled her eyes “Don't look at me that way. I'm tired of this, Bella. I'm tired of seeing my brother in pain and my best friend denying herself happiness. When will you stop and realize Edward and you belong together?”
I had to look away from Alice because tears were already falling from eyes.
“Bella, I don't want to sound like a bitch but I really don't know how much more you and Edward can take. You both sound and look so broken.”
I winced at the thought of Edward being anything but happy.
“Please, just let yourself be happy. Let yourself be happy with Edward. Don't let your own...fucking insecurities get the best of you.”
Alice kissed the top of my head then left the kitchen. I wasn't really thinking when I picked up my cell phone. I knew this needed to happen and I couldn't wait anymore.
“Alice, I really don't want to talk anymore.” Edward answered. A pang of pain hit my heart the second I heard his voice. It was weak and tortured.
“It's not Alice.”
“Bella? Oh god, I have missed you so much. I'm so sorry about everything with Tanya. It just-”
I cut him off.“Edward, I'm coming over. We need to talk about everything.”
I drove slowly to Edward's apartment, feeling many things but anxiety was winning. I didn't know what was going to happen. Was I going to let go of my fears and insecurities and be happy with Edward? Or was I going to replay what happened the last time we saw each other?
I counted to ten before I knocked on Edward's front door. Don't chicken out, Bella! I screamed at myself. I wish I could be brave and just stop these foolish feelings instead of looking like a scared little girl. After I knocked, I fisted my hands by my side and took in a deep breath.
“Bella,” Edward said my name as he let out a deep breath. The need, want, and lust I had or him attacked me with much force. I knew we needed to talk, but I needed to touch him more.
I threw my arms around Edward's neck, pushing my body hard into his. Without any control, my knees gave out. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, lifting me up. I couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of my eyes. We didn't say anything. We just stood there, holding each other.
When I had no more tears to cry, I pulled away from him so I could look into his eyes. I still kept my arms around him, of course. Another pang of pain hit me when I saw that Edward was crying too.
"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered to him. How could he ever forgive me for being so stupid? I broke his heart because I couldn't deal with the fact a man like Edward would love something like me. Being in his arms made me realize nothing else mattered. My fears, my insecurities, and the other who think we are not good together meant nothing. I loved Edward more than anything and I hoped to God, he still felt the same way.
“Do you still love me?” Edward asked.
“Of course, Edward. I will love you for the rest of my life.”
What Edward did next took my breath away. He smiled his crooked smile. God, it was amazing seeing that again.
“That's all I need.” He gently kissed me with so much love. "The mistakes we have made are in the past. They can't hurt us if we don't let them. I love you, Bella Swan, with everything I have and that will never change."
My heart filled up with so much love that I couldn't help the big, goofy smile that fell onto my face.
Within seconds, we made our way to Edward's bedroom. You would think we would be tearing off each other's clothes like animals, but we did everything slow. Not if-you-don't-hurry-up-I-will-scream slow though. It was loving, sweet, amazing, passion-filled slow.
Edward and I showed each other how much we loved one another. Every touch, caress, and kiss was laced with love. The movements and moans were in ecstasy. Every time we came, 'I love you' would slip out of our mouths.
I lay there, making love to my soul mate and the only thought that came to my mind was that I had finally found my bliss. There's no way I would lever let go.
Two years later.
"I swear to God, Emmett. If you drop that box because you can't stop joking around, , I will attack, " I told my brother.
“Oh, hush, baby sister. I got it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Just put it upstairs in Edward's office.”
Emmett started to climb up the stairs “Why couldn't your husband have an office downstairs?”
Husband I still got all giddy when I thought about Edward that way. We had only been married three weeks, and now, we were moving into our very first house.
"Because her husband wants to make your life a living hell," Edward called our from the front door.
Before I could say anything, Edward caught me up in his arms and kissed me passionately. "Hello, wife."
"Hello, husband, " I greeted back with a smile.
Perfect. Amazing. Wonderful. Beautiful. My life was those things and so much more. And that's all because of Edward – my friend, lover, and now, my husband.