Megan, formerly known as twi_ction (ohfiyera) wrote in lion_lamb,
Megan, formerly known as twi_ction

  • Mood:

Completely for the lulz....

Right, so...

I was talking to my good frannnd fuzzyluvbanana</lj> , and somehow or another, with a bit of assistance from her almighty amazing-ness.. I began making up alternate lyrics to the much loved Christmas song, Frosty the Snow Man..

pretty soon I have this full fledged childrens song contorted and defiled until its about Edward losing his virginity in BD.


its some pretty lulzy shit, but I would advise a more mature audience...

*blushes sfh*

edward the vampire,
was a virgin for too long.
with his sparkling skin
and designer clothes
and his eyes that looked like gold.

edward the vampire
is a fiction man they say.
he is not quite real
but the fangirls squeal
every time they hear his name.

There must have been some magic in
the new girls blood that day.
For when he sat right next to her
he began to salivate.

Edward the vampire
fell in love with her that day
when he came to kill
but recieved a thrill
when in sleep she said his name

Edward the vampire
knew the danger she was in
when she said hey hun
let us have some fun
let the sexy time begin

No, bells! He stated
with his virtue in his hand
we must do this right
come on now, don't fight
first we get the wedding planned

But Edward knew the time was soon
when the honeymoon came
and the lame excuse of virtue would
no longer help his game

so humpity hump hump
humpity hump hump
look at edward go

humpity hump hump
humpity hump hump
somethin' that ends in o

edward the vampire
was a virgin  boy no more
but he was too good
with his god damn wood
so his wife became a whore

more please, she pleaded
but he firmly answered no
look at that big bruise
I will not abuse
okay maybe one more go..

eventually they mastered it
the art known as the sex
and soon enough they got so good
that the next day she could flex

humpity hump hump
humpity hump hump
til the break of dawn

humpity hump hump
humpity hump hump

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