Main Pairing: Bella and Edward
LJ Chapter 1
Also on ff.net
Summary: Welcome to an experiment in dark humor, with alternating emphasis on the "dark" and the "humor." To tell you the truth, I'm not sure where exactly this story is taking me; unlike my other stories, the whole thing isn't prewritten. Hopefully it's still fun, though. My thanks to Ms. Meyer, for creating such memorable characters and for not minding that we all play with them.
Preview of Chapter 4:
Bob Banner, biology teacher and closeted hentai fan, hated his job. He disliked teenagers on principle, believed they were all slackers, and that their disinterest and idiocy worsened every year. Even the “smart kids” like Edward, he loathed, because they tended to have a smug attitude, as though just because they understood the textbook after a single reading, or looked up mitosis on Wikipedia, it meant they knew more than a man with an actual, bona fide Bachelor of Science degree. The fact that Edward had graduate degrees in more than one scientific field, including two degrees in medicine, would not have deterred Bob Banner’s dislike one bit, had he known about it. All Bob wanted to do was pack up his erotic cartoon collection, hop into a far nicer car than the beater he owned, and start driving south until he reached Tijuana. Unfortunately, this was the real world, so he was stuck handing out microscope slides to a bunch of pimple-creamed, hormone laden miscreants and hairsprayed airheads, demanding that they demonstrate their understanding of mitosis without the aid of textbooks.