June 11th, 2010

Updated Fanfiction: Bad Timing

Title: Bad Timing
Author: monkeymoe
Characters/Pairing: Edward/Bella, Bella/Jake, Alice/Jasper, Emmett/Rosalie, Carlisle/Esme, James/Victoria
Rating: M. to be safe but probably T.
Category: AU, AH.
Spoilers: shouldn't be any but the basic facts
Summary: 48 hours before her wedding, Bella's friends take her out for her last Friday as an unmarried woman. 24 hours before her wedding, Bella wakes up to find herself already married.

Chapter 25: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4570483/26/Bad_Timing

Prologue: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4570483/1/Bad_Timing
Underwear Drawer

New Fanfiction: Cracked

Title: Cracked
Fandom: Twilight
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: T
Pairing: Bella and Edward (for now)
Also on ff.net

Summary: Welcome to an experiment in dark humor, with alternating emphasis on the "dark" and the "humor." I present to you, in no particular order or relation to each other, rewritten scenes from the Twilight series. I have no set posting schedule—this is purely for my own amusement and steam-letting, although I hope you'll be amused as well. My thanks to Ms. Meyer, for creating such memorable characters and for not minding that we all play with them.

austen ; lizzie ; book

'Twilight' Narrator Showdown: We Compare Bella To 'Short Second Life' Voice, Bree

With "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner," we've reached new ground in "The Twilight Saga." Unlike the as yet unfinished "Midnight Sun," this is our first published look into exploring Stephenie Meyer's world of vampires, werewolves and romance beyond Bella's perspective, and also a good sign that there will be more spin-offs to come.

But, after four novels and more than 2500 pages, it's a little bit jarring to be reading a female narrator's perspective that isn't Bella's. Sure, fans who read 2008's "The Host" have had some experience with reading through the eyes of other characters Stephenie created, but it was a little, well, weird to be watching events unfold through Bree's eyes.


One thing's for sure, though: Stephenie likes her main characters to have specific certain characteristics. We all know Bella was a big reader, and each of the novels in "The Twilight Saga" borrows themes from those she reads in the books. Well, Bree is no different, it seems. Since she can somewhat control the bloodthirsty desires that drives the other newborns to violence, Bree spends most of her days inside reading books. And it doesn't matter which book, either, because by the time we meet her she has already made her way up to the "H" section in the fiction section of the local Seattle bookstore.


Also like Bella, Bree is a something of an awkward loner, though this is more because she is trying to remain unnoticed to survive than because she is socially uncomfortable. It's not a big surprise that these are two characteristics that Stephenie passes on to her narrators, because we know that they are two traits that Stephenie had herself when she was that age.


However, Bree is the little, violent newborn vampire that Bella never got to be. Bree doesn't have a special gift as a vampire, just a lot of lies and manipulation surrounding her and a good head on her shoulders. Because she doesn't have the Cullens to guide her, Bree never thought of doing anything other than attacking and killing humans because why should a super sexy, strong vampire ever need to do that? Stephenie has admitted in interviews that she liked writing Bree's story because it does give her readers a chance to see a side of the vampire world that they never saw before.


While Bree is more independent and, arguably, a stronger female lead than Bella, it was a little bit of a letdown that she was somewhat reliant on her romantic interest, Diego. It wasn't until she started talking with him that they began to realize the lies Riley and Victoria had woven (vampires don't burn in the sunlight, for one; they sparkle) and the real reason that they were created. However, unlike Bella's relationship with Edward, Bree looked to Diego for guidance not only because he was an older vampire than she was, but also because two heads were better than one.

We're never going to see another story from Bree's perspective, but it gave us an interesting tease at how exciting other "Twilight Saga" spinoffs could end up being.

Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below or on Twitter: Did you like Bree as a narrator, and how did you think she stacked up in comparison to Bella?

hand of god

In Other News - Chapter 1

New story from Enigma Lynne,

Title: In Other News

Category: Twilight

Words: 5,934
Genre(s): Drama/Humor
Rating: Rated: M
Summary: She's a reporter trying to build her reputation. He's an anchor
trying to rediscover his true self. What happens when they end up working at
the same local television station? Sometimes being part of an inestigative
team means trouble.

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6042942/1/


The Ring

Details on Bella’s Engagement Ring!

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Last we saw Edward and Bella at the end of The Twilight Saga: New Moon, our favorite brooding vampire had just popped the question to his mortal lady love. But the antique engagement ring that writer Stephenie Meyer describes as a delicate piece with an oval face “set with slanting rows of glittering round stones” doesn’t appear until The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, so we talked to the prop team to get all the details. To bring Meyer’s vision to life, prop master Grant Swain started by researching engagement rings from the Victorian era, called in several samples and enlisted four different jewelers to create prototypes of the bauble. But Meyer wasn’t satisfied with any of the options, so she drew a rough sketch herself and Swain sent it to Portland-based jeweler Rick Thurber, who’d created the Cullen family crest jewelry worn by Edward and his clan. Thurber mocked up a computerized 3-D drawing of his vision and sent it to Swain and Meyer for approval. Once he’d been given the go-ahead, Thurber used the illustration to laser cut a wax model, cast the band and setting and set the face with delicate pave diamonds (cubic zirconians were preferred but there wasn’t enough time to order them!). The ring was then rushed from Portland to the Vancouver set of Eclipse, arriving just hours before filming began on the pivotal scene. Talk about a ring with history!


So, can we officially blame Meyer for the fugliness now?

Like a Satellite - 3/5

Title: Like a Satellite
Author: xtalleenx (ThexInvisiblexGirl on fanfiction.net)
Chapter: 3/5
Pairing: Edward/Bella, Bella's POV
Rating: T
Spoilers: Twilight, New Moon, and the beginning of Eclipse

Summary: a missing scene from Eclipse - Bella and Edward go to Jacksonville.

Disclaimer: it's all Stephenie Meyer's, including bits of dialogue I borrowed for context.

Read it on fanfiction.net:

By the time our second plane had landed, I was completely worn out.