a~theif~a~whore~and~a~liar (bloodyaftertast) wrote in lion_lamb,
a~theif~a~whore~and~a~liar
bloodyaftertast
lion_lamb

I'm new to the community, but I saw some cool things and decided to join.

So I saw this http://community.livejournal.com/lion_lamb/1651773.html?view=34259261#t34259261 and found it hilarious. So I decided to make one of my own but for bella's side of Breaking Dawn.



Bella's Side of Breaking Dawn



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*So Edward conned me into marrying him and the wedding finally came*

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*It was soo Alice*

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*But then it was time for the honeymoon*

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*I gotta say it was pretty amazing for two virgins*

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*But than Edward went all emo and it would have been a good time for him to read my mind*

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*But since he couldn't I had to come up with a plan*

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*so I just used the old feminine wits and tricked him into it*

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*You wouldn't believe how well that worked*

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*But than I realized I was pregnant*

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*can you believe he tricked me with all this talk about vampires not being able to have kids*

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*And than he wanted to kill OUR baby. Even after all this talk about being a "vegetarian" and not killing human life*

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*It's true what they say about men after they get married*

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*I knew I had to get Rosalie on my side*

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*Edwards face was priceless when he found out*

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*But you didn't see it because we had to go to Jacobs POV*

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*I thought this was my story*

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*So let's skip that month and come back to me*

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*So then I was burning, which to say...it burned*

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*But I couldn't let the boys win and have something else to make fun of me about, so I kept quit*

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*That was soon over and I became all GRRR*

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*And I was amazing at controlling myself. Gotta say I'm pretty special*

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*Jaspers reaction was priceless when he saw how well I was doing*

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I was doing so well I got to see my beautiful baby Renesme*

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*looking back, maybe that wasn't the best name I could have come up with*

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*But than i heard Jacob call her Nessie, which is totally worse*

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*I was like whatev*

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*And then I found out he imprinted on my baby*

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*That's just sick*

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*But then Edward and I got a chance to finally have vampire on vampire sex. And we did it ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

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*And then Jacob had to ruin my high again by wolfing out in front of Charlie*

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*He's such a buzz kill*

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*But Charlie seemed to be ok with it.*

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*Which really isn't like Charlie at all, but we have to wrap this book up soon*

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*Alice than foresaw our deaths*

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*And than she left us to save her own ass*

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*She also took Jasper, who is an excellent fighter*

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*I thought we were bffs*

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*So than all these other vamps came to witness our story and I found out I'm a shield*

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*I guess it was about time that I started pulling my own weight and protecting others who protected me*

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*So finally it's time to deal with the Volturi*

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*I'm not getting any older, but how long does it take a great power that have been ruling for hundreds of years to get ready*

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*So they are trying to come up with reason's to bring a justified death onto my family, and no one is buying it*

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*And then Alice shows up to save the day*

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*And once again the jokes on me*

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*She could have at least told ME*

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*I mean I'm a shield. It should have some perks right?*

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*So since that was all over we just went home*

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*Edward was ready for another all nighter, but I let him see in my mind instead*

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*I know I turned down great vampire sex, but I gotta mix it up a bit*

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*I still have all of eternity, you know?*

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*Overall the coolest part is definatly the fact that I'm finally a vampire*
Tags: books: breaking dawn
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