Characters/Pairing: Edward / Bella
Spoilers: Breaking Dawn
Summary: Edward and Bella - a scene from the Honeymoon retold. This is my first post, so be gentle!
Edward stood at the doorway of their room, watching Bella sleeping cocooned behind a whisper of mosquito netting. She lay with her back to him curled up on her side, the dark ebony of her hair spread over the pillow. He could hear her breathing – slow, regulated. He felt that familiar pang from somewhere inside the darkness that he denied. That slow, relaxed – unknowing – breathing of prey being watched.
He selfishly would miss these moments if she was turned. When she slept and he could just watch her. Soon they would both never know the bliss of the unaware.
She moved then and made a sound, soft and far away but penetrating to his sensitive hearing. He felt that if he only had a heart it would have beat faster as he remembered what it felt like that first time to hear her say his name in her sleep. His eyes never leaving her, he walked slowly closer – so quiet and fluid that he seemed as intangible as the breeze blowing the netting around the bed. She had moved onto her back, the shoulder strap of her singlet shifted slightly to expose the delicate skin where her neck met her shoulders.
He didn’t realise he had stopped the motion of his breathing until it got uncomfortable. His hands were at his sides, his fingers clawing his own cold palms. It scared him – he didn’t know what this feeling was. He was pretty sure that it was that he wanted her. But how? After all this time was it that he wanted her body, her soul, her blood? Or was it all the same thing.
He saw her eyes flutter open then, and she looked at him sleepily through the netting.
“Yes Bella?” His voice shook slightly. What was happening to him? She watched him as he pulled the netting aside and walked closer. She sat up, holding the sheet against her chest demurely, oddly shy for someone who had thrown herself on him on the beach earlier. He had been the strong one then, but the toughness of his out shell – the protective layer he built between them both was starting to wear. He felt as if his skin must look like a parched desert, thirsty and rendered usunder by something he couldn’t contain.
Bella, ever innocent of the internal struggle her presence raged in him, repeated his name softly. Was it fear that made her sound like that?
He slid his palm along her cheek to cup it, and she turned her face towards it, closing her eyes over. He bent over her, his lips hovering over her forehead. He felt her exhaling at the anticipation of his familiar gesture, until he turned his head his lips hovering a line down to the spot of skin exposed at her neck. He felt her tense, almost moving away but he moved – so much faster than her – to hold both her arms at her sides.
His lips pressed against the skin gently, and his eyes slowly opened, snaking up through the window to the moon outside. Her blood was ringing in his ears. His lips parted. His teeth were dragging on her skin. Oh god, was he really going to do this to her now...?
Suddenly he felt her hand in the back of his hair, gripping tightly.
“Do it!” He heard her gasp, “Edward do it!”
He was so close....
He pushed her back suddenly, nearly knocking the wind out of her, hunched over her on the bed. She stared up at him, her face a mixture of anger, surprise, confusion. Edward saw tears in her eyes.
“Please don’t cry...” He bent his head, his jaw brushing hers, his hands finding their way to her hair. He sighed when he felt her relax, lifting his head to look down into her eyes.
“I love you.”
“How can I be sure?” She said softly, frowning.
“Because I couldn’t do that,” his voice was soft, earnest. “Although everything in me that makes me who I am was screaming at me to do it.” He stroked her hair off her forehead gently as he spoke. He went to stand up, but she sat up too and cupped the back of his neck. She leant up further, and kissed him.
This wasn’t an ordinary kiss from Bella. It wasn’t the forceful rush she felt when she was possessed by him in the meadow. It wasn’t begging, or demanding. He felt the full force of her behind it, all of her. She poured herself into him, and suddenly he felt alive.
“Bella...” Edward said against her lips, but she kissed him until he had nothing at all left to say. He lay on top of her, for once the thousands of warnings and thoughts leaving his head. He didn’t worry about crushing her, bruising her. He didn’t worry about harming her or hurting her heart. He felt how she felt so much of the time – so completely and utterly invincible with him.
She pulled his shirt over his head and for once he didn’t complain, didn’t feel that he needed to push her away. He pushed her singlet up, felt her back arch to help him.
“I’m sorry...my hands....” He stared down at her, his eyes not leaving even when the material covered her face.
“I know....but I don’t care.” She laughed softly, shakily. He smiled crookedly, dropping his head down, feeling shy when he felt her hands moving along his stomach. He held her sides, his lips moving along her jaw slowly. Warmth radiated from her skin, her face.
He helped her take off his jeans awkwardly, pushing them off and away. Edward then helped her undress slowly, felt her getting tense with each layer he removed. He asked her why, saw her look at him almost fiercely.
“After all this time you have to ask?” She was breathless, looking up at him, “you’re so much more beautiful than me.”
“Bella....you have no idea” he said, lowering his head to hers, kissing her deeply. He shifted over her, feeling her move underneath him, her arms around him. Her heartbeat sped up, impossibly loud in his ears. He was scared – he could feel himself pacing a fine line between control and chaos. She was kissing him again passionately, her tongue and her hands exploring him, revelling in the free rein he was suddenly giving her.
“This....is probably going to hurt..” He said shakily, looking down at her, running his tongue over his lips slightly. She watched him carefully, nodding, her face flushed. He held himself up off her slightly, looking into her eyes as he shifted over her...his eyes squeezing closed painfully as he heard her cry out loudly over the sound of her blood pumping in his ears. He felt her head push against his neck, and the sudden sensation of her teeth biting down on his skin.
His eyes flew open, and they both stayed still frozen, locked together. He felt tears on his skin, and cupped the back of her head in his hand.
“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry...” He felt dizzy, suddenly aware that he had made her bleed.
“It’s okay Edward...Edward...” she lay back to look up at him again, his hand still under her head, as the both slowly, awkwardly started to move. Edward closed his eyes again, feeling as though his insides were a rubber band stretched tightly. He was so terrified he would snap – he could still smell her blood, he was still holding back. But Isabella was breathing her life into him over and over and he couldn’t stop...he wouldn’t know how if he tried.
The tears were drying on her cheeks, and she was looking up at him with wide eyes, his name a shaking whisper out of her lips. Her fingers were in his back as they moved with each other getting faster – he thought of flying, and falling....
Then suddenly, he snapped and it all fell away.
They clung to each other, tensing up. After the sudden rush of life she had given him he felt like he was dying all over again, very slowly, with Bella twisting the knife exquisitely with every movement she made.
“Bella!” He cried out, hearing her crying out his name – this time a more distant sound through the rush of his senses tearing him apart.
“Edward...” Bella looked up at him, her voice very soft, overcome.
“I’m here....” He touched her face, “I’m here, I love you.”