REVIEWREVIEW! I am only human!
Title: And we all fall down
Author: You can call me Jill! but my journal name is aalatariel
Rating: I'm switching to M because of language that is going to happen.
Summary: Set during New Moon (why I like to write fics in that time period I have no idea) Edward makes the biggest mistake of his existence but what will happen when he rushes back to fix it? Where is Bella, who has taken her so quickly? Why didn't Alice see it coming? and, most importantly, how much time does he have? I haven't decided yet if this will be another bad Jacob fic (probably not) but I will warn you if I decide to take it in that direction (I have decided to include the wolves!). I was inspired to write this while listening to Muse's version of 'House of the Rising Sun' and 'Almost Lover' by fine frenzy.
Warnings: New Moon spoilers!
A/N: Not my characters...obviously! And it's unbeta'd.
Links to other chapters!
There was no sound in our home for several seconds, save the constant dripping of rain onto the floor from my soaked hair. Chief Swan stood in our living room, a look of panic and hope filled his face as his eyes met mine. Panic that, obviously, Bella hadn’t been there when he arrived home from work. And hope that, maybe I had found her. I wish I could send a rain soaked Bella into his awaiting embrace, I wish that this nightmare had never began, I wish I hadn’t have been so stupid as to think leaving her was the best thing for her.
I stepped into our living room towards Charlie and I was shocked to sense my siblings following me. I would have thought they would have kept their distance from Charlie, but then again, Alice had always been his favorite,
“Chief Swan.” I addressed Charlie who stared at me as if I could make Bella magically appear out of thin air,
“Did you find her?” Charlie’s voice whispered as if he didn’t want to hear the answer himself. I looked at Carlisle,
We only told him you went looking for her, nothing else. His thoughts informed me. I returned my gaze to Charlie’s and motioned to the couch. I willed myself to stay calm, to remain focused, and I prayed that I didn’t accidentally go on a rant about possible evil vampires kidnapping Charlie’s only daughter, that was sure to only get me either arrested or committed, neither of which would help me get Bella back.
“No, Charlie, I didn’t. I’m so sorry, believe me, I…I can’t fathom what has happened today.” I spoke as slowly and as calmly as I could. Charlie ran his hand through his thinning hair and, for once, I noticed the toll that humanity had taken on Charlie Swan. The wrinkles that lined his eyes, the small amount of gray that peppered his hair, the lines that surrounded his mouth. I knew that within fifty or so years, maybe less, Charlie Swan would no longer be living. I would continue to be seventeen and, if his daughter had her way, she would stay as young and vibrant as she currently was. If only Charlie Swan knew how insignificant the years he had already lived were to the creatures that, more than likely, were responsible for his only daughter’s disappearance. If only he knew that, to them, the length of a human life meant nothing, that time was hardly ever a factor to creatures like us. At the moment, time was everything to Chief Swan,
“Edward, I need to ask you a few questions. Less as a police chief and more as a concerned father. When was the last time you saw Bella? I figured she had just gone to your house without leaving a note, you know something that just slipped her mind. But when I tried to call her cell phone no one answered. I called your house then and your father said that I may want to come over.” Charlie recited the events of the night from his own perspective though I could see everything in his thoughts. I wished the truth didn’t have the ability to kill him, I wish I could have told him the truth so that he wouldn’t have such false hopes that, perhaps, Bella had (not so simply to him) run away or was held captive by an easily disposable human. But, in some cases, especially in our world, it is often easier to lie. I took an unneeded lungful of air and leaned forward placing my elbows on my knees,
“She was at school with me all day. Then, I asked her to come over for dinner and to watch a movie with Alice, Jasper, and myself. She seemed excited to come hang out with us but told me that she wanted to go home long enough to shower, change, and put dinner in the refrigerator for you. She told me that she would be over by six o’clock. When she didn’t show up I tried calling her, there was no answer, I tried your house phone, no luck. I became slightly worried but assumed that she may have been running behind. I drove over to your house to see if there was anything I could help her with but, there was no one home. No sign of her anywhere. It was like she just…” Charlie finished my sentence for me,
“Vanished. Did she act strange at school at all? Distant in any way?” He asked. I wanted say ‘Yes because she knew something was up with me. And she was right because later that day I broke up with her and left her alone in the woods like a dumbass because I was upset that my brother has a bad case of ‘imma-eat-yo-face!’ when it comes to human blood and my vampire family and I were going to run away’ but, instead, I decided to take a much a safer route,
“No, she seemed normal. Normal, clumsy, Bella. She was laughing and joking with Alice at lunch as was just as talkative and cheerful as ever in class.” I lied. All lies, I was full of lies that evening. Lying could, occasionally, protect the ones you cared for. I was determined to protect Charlie from as much darkness as possible, “I’m sorry Charlie. I love your daughter, you know this, she is my life. I will find her. I promise you.” That was the truth. I would find Bella, no matter what the cost.
Charlie was so distraught that I wished I could block his thoughts. Jasper was in the room, trying his best to send out as much calm as he could but his own personal guilt wasn’t helping much with the situation, though, I was beginning to notice that Charlie had started to relax. Alice was standing as still as a statue beside Charlie, I knew she was trying her own, personal, hardest to locate some sort of future for our situation. Charlie mistook her silence for grief, though, believe me, Alice was grieving an infinite amount,
“Alice, dear, it’ll be alright. I know, I’m terrified too. We have to get to the bottom of this, and we will.” Charlie laid a hand on my sister’s back which shocked her and brought her out of her trance. She stared at me and shook her head a fraction of an inch. Charlie didn’t notice, but I did, and my heart fell. She was still unable to locate Bella anywhere. I had a feeling Jasper’s claming was starting to finally drift through a little stronger because Charlie stood and faced me. I rose to take his hand,
“Call me if you hear anything? Please son, the moment you hear word.” He asked me. That was impossible. I wouldn’t call him when I heard anything because, whatever I heard next would be just another sinister part Bella’s captors sick game, and I would not involve Charlie in that process,
“Of course.” Well, if I wasn’t going to hell for the other sins I had committed I was definitely going for lying,
“I’m going to the station to file a report. Make some posters, start calling anyone that might have seen her today.” Charlie said. I knew it wouldn’t help to do any of those things but, in this situation, a police chief with a handgun was a laughable asset,
“I will do anything to help. I can call my classmates tomorrow, find out if they heard anything from her.” I lied again, I wouldn’t even give calling Mike Newton or Jessica Stanley a second thought.
“Charlie we want to help too. If you need any help passing out flyers or anything else we will do anything.” Alice spoke for the first time,
“I know kiddo. Thank you. Get some sleep” I heard Alice chuckle once almost silently. Charlie walked towards the front door and Carlisle and Esme followed,
“Our house is always open to you Charlie. We love Bella as our own, we will find her.” Carlisle said. Esme offered Charlie a hug and he gladly accepted it. With that, Chief Swan left our home to go about his worrying in his own fashion. I felt an extreme amount of guilt that his actions would be useless.
“What’s the plan now Edward?” Emmett asked from the top of the stairs. He and Rosalie had been absent during Charlie’s visit to keep with the charade that they were away at college. Rosalie’s thoughts were simple, yet shocking,
I’m sorry. She thought. I nodded,
“I don’t know. I’M SO FRUSTRATED!” I shouted and Jasper tried to calm me, “We can’t do anything until we hear word. I can’t stand this, I can’t stand not having a lead, no trail, no scent, no thoughts. I’m so damn frustrated!” I wanted to cry, I wanted to break furniture, I wanted to break the necks of whoever held Bella in their grasp. But I was powerless, that’s what they wanted, they wanted me and my family powerless. They wanted us to feel human again, weak and stupid, they wanted me to feel guilty for what I had almost done, they wanted me to prove to them what I would risk to save a mere human.
Alice stepped forward and wrapped her tiny arms around me,
“I can’t confirm it, fuckers…” she muttered the last word, “but I can feel that we will find her Edward. And they will pay dearly…trust me. We’ll play their, game, and we will win. It will be our game when we finish.” A strange, playful, glint appeared for a split second in Alice’s eyes and then she returned to the couch facing the window. She stared out into the dark night, and focused.
“I think I want to be alone for awhile.” I addressed my family and retreated to my room. The hours wore on as I sat in my dark, silent, room. I sat on the floor facing the window. I didn’t feel like laying on the couch, I didn’t feel like listening to music, I didn’t feel anything. A light knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts,
“I don’t want to talk Alice.” I called. I heard the soft chuckle of my father,
“Oh, come in Carlisle.” I said. My door opened letting in the small light from the nightlight in the hallway. He walked over and stood next to my couch,
“So why is alright for me to come in and not your sister?” He said clearly trying to lighten the mood,
“I’m just not quite up for Tornado Pixie tonight.” I said with a small smirk,
“I HEARD THAT!” came Alice’s response from down the hall. Carlisle chuckled and walked over sitting across from me. We sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes before I spoke,
“I want to know why Carlisle.” I said simply, “Why us? Why Bella?” I asked,
“Our family is quite different Edward. I’m working off the assumption that whoever has her is of our species and to the majority of our kind humanity isn’t seen as anything important. What do a small eighty years matter? Our family sees humanity for the blessing, and occasional curse, that it is. They are, threatened, by our family’s existence, we seem to be so strong in comparison to them because we have learned to resist the appeal of human blood and they feel insecure, and threatened by this reality. They see Bella as a way to get at us, they’re using her as a prop and, unfortunately, her life matters little to them if they don’t see us losing our minds trying to find her. We’ve witnessed the passing of people we knew as we live a perpetual existence, it has never affected us until Bella arrived in your life. They want to know what makes her so special to you, and, as a sick game, they want to know what you would do to keep her safe.” Carlisle spoke softly to me and his words made sense,
“I hate not being able to do anything right now. I feel so useless right now, I want word, I want to know she’s living.” I admitted. Carlisle reached forward and laid a hand on my shoulder,
“Sometimes, it pains us so much to move at a human’s pace doesn’t it? Trust me thought, Edward, we will find her alive. There is a reason that the rest of our kind feels threatened by our family, when we need to fight, there are none stronger.” He told me,
“I should never have allowed myself to get so close to her.” I said quickly. Carlisle crinkled his brow at this,
“Do you truly think that would have been a wise decision? How much brighter is your life because of Bella, Edward? How much happiness has she brought you? We do not choose those we love Edward.” He told me,
“But look where it’s gotten her! Captured by inhuman beasts that are doing…God knows what to her. It would have been for the best if I would never have spoken to her.” I waited for Carlisle’s response. He paused for a moment, then, he offered me a small smile as he stood,
“Doing what’s best isn’t often the same as doing what’s right.” He told me. I took in his comment and was silent as Carlisle walked toward the door,
“What would you do if you had never turned mom?” I’m sure, in that instant, I sounded more like a child than I ever had in my ninety years.
“I would, certainly, have ceased to exist. As far as Carlisle Cullen is concerned. Love is something we all need Edward, even the strongest of kings is nothing without a queen by his side.” He told me,
"You know what I will do to save her Carlisle. You know what I will risk." I said. Carlisle's eyes met mine and I knew, in that instant, we understood each other completely,
"I know." He replied simply. And with that he left my room, giving me the rest of the night, and part of the morning to think.
When I finally reappeared downstairs to find Alice in the same spot I had left her. She looked like she had been sobbing all night though I knew no tears had fallen.
“I’m sorry Edward. I can’t see anything. There is nothing on the horizon and it makes me want to scream. I want to curse everyone that is surrounding Bella but I can’t see them to curse them.” She said so quietly that I was almost sure that I had imagined it,
“You’re fine Alice. Take a break for awhile, there’s no use tiring yourself now. We may need you soon.” I kept glancing at my phone for any news but none came. That meant they could be anywhere by now, airborne, at sea, it didn’t matter, they weren’t anywhere I could see.
“Edward, darling, you need to hunt. Look at yourself.” Esme said coming from the kitchen. I glanced in the mirror that hung over the fireplace and was shocked at the darkness of my eyes and intensity of the shadows under my eyes,
“I don’t want to.” I replied,
“If you get a message we’ll send Alice out to get you.” Esme told me trying to urge me to go. But I would never make it out the door. As I was about to answer my mother my phone vibrated and I instantly flipped it open,
“Your human just informed me of a very interesting tidbit of information. I may just change the stakes of the game. You’ll hear from me soon.” I dropped my phone, and myself, to the floor.