Rating: total NC-17
Genre: AU/ Romance
Summary: Edward, Emmett, and Jasper are best friends attending University of Washington. Bella, Rosalie, and Alice are best friends also attending UW. Everyone meets, will they all fall in love?
Warning: AU all human
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING
Note: First fanfic ever. Please just bare with me :)
This will also be extremely long. I’m pretty much experimenting with everyone’s POV. This should be interesting...
this chapter will make you laugh so hard
you'll piss your pants
at least... i hope
CHAPTER FOURTEEN! http://community.livejournal.com/lion_lamb/1560772.html
"Well it seems that Edward has left the building," I chuckled. "LET'S FOLLOW HIM!"
"Emmett! This is not a joke! This guy raped Bella!" Rosalie hit me... once again. Total shocker.
"Jeeze, Rose. I'm trying to make this as fun as possible. It's not everyday that I get to say that Edward beat up a guy. Shit, that never happens. If you ask me-"
"But we didn't ask you," Alice cut in.
"Okay, Pixie. Get your wand stuck in your ass?" I questioned. Bella started to giggle.
"See? I'm making the rape victim laugh. Isn't that what this is all about? Making sure our Bella-Boo is happy?"
"We really should check on Edward, you guys. The last thing he should be doing is getting into a fight with the owner of this restaurant, even if he is the biggest asshole-slash-douchebag-slash-cuntface-slash-motherfucker-slash-son-of-a-bitch," Bella told us.
"So I'm getting this vibe that you really hate this guy. It might just be me, but that's totally the emotion that I'm getting from you in big, heaping waves," Jasper told Bella.
"Hmm... Looks like your boy has a gift with emotions," Bella laughed with Alice.
I started laughing too. But for a totally different reason. The sight in front of me was perfect. More than perfect. It was a "Kodak Moment." I wish I had brought my camera.
I walked out the door rolling up my sleeves preparing to kick Jacob Black's ass. No one messes with my Bella. Absolutely no one.
When I walked out Jacob was standing with his arms crossed. He definitely didn't have a hateful look in his eye. It was a different emotion. One that he should not be experiencing when in the beginning moments of a fight. I was slightly confused.
"Okay, asshole. I'm assuming you know why I wanted to take you out here. So let's just get this over with so I can get ba-"
"Mmm... Talk dirty to me," Jacob told me while pressing me up against the wall.
He had placed one hand on either side of my face. Why did he have a lustful look in his eye? What the hell is going on?
"Uh... Talk dirty to you? Back up, bud. I came out here to kick your ass. Not to fuck you in the ass."
Surely he wasn't gay. That couldn't be possible. He acted like a straight guy... up until this point.
"Oh, come on. You know you want to." Jacob started to lean forward but was interrupted.
I looked over to see Emmett rolling on the floor laughing with Jasper. Rosalie, Alice, and Bella were all staring at us, wide eyed. Apparently Jake and I hadn't heard them open the door moments before.
"GET OFF OF ME!" I yelled while kicking Jake in the only place that can make a guy cry. I hoped he shed some tears. That was the first time I was attacked by a gay man. And that would most certainly be the last as well.
"Okay Emmett and Jasper. You can stop laughing now," I told them.
"So Eddie. Do you have anything to tell us? Like... uh... YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?" They burst into a fit of laughter once again.
"Yeah. I was starting to wonder the same thing. We thought you were out here kicking his ass... not planning to do other things with his ass," Rosalie started to giggle.
"The only thing I have to say from this experience is: If that was what being gay is like, I'm glad I bat for the other team."
Bella started to laugh.
"So Edward? You promise me you're not gay?" She poked me in the stomach.
"I'm as straight as can be, my Bella," I gave her a hug.
"How you holdin' up there, Jakey-Poo?" Emmett asked Jacob.
"I can't feel my nuts thanks to that asshole! I thought you were gay! What the hell?"
"I have a girlfriend, you idiot! I'M DATING THE GIRL YOU RAPED! ARE YOU FUCKED IN THE HEAD?" I shouted. Was he always this difficult?
"I didn't rape her," Jacob growled.
"I dare you to say that one more time," I threatened.
"I. Didn't. Rape. Her," Jacob told us.
"You're gonna regret that," I told him.
"Oh really? And how is that going to work?"
"Oh. There's no need to explain. Let Emmett demonstrate for you. Emmett make sure he'll be unconcious for a matter of hours." I patted Emmett on the back as encouragement and he punched Jacob as hard as he could in the face. And he went down. Like way down. It was great to watch. But I shielded Bella's eyes.
"That was fun," Emmett told us as he walked back into the restaurant.
"So what was it like being intimate with Jacob?" Bella joked.
"Let's just say you won't ever have to worry about him raping you again... considering the fact that he's straight as a doorknob," I kissed Bella on top of the head.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"My pleasure," I smiled back at her.
"Let's eat! I'm starving!" Alice announced.
"Her stomach is a botomless pit," Jasper told us.
And so we all sat down to eat, with Jacob unconcious outside. It really couldn't have been a better meal.
I LOVED WRITING THAT CHAPTER
i know it was a short chapter
but i couldn't keep this idea in my mind for too long
it needed to be written down
i hoped you all thought it was funny
jacob being gay cracks me up...
comments are loveeeeeeee!
CHAPTER SIXTEEN! http://community.livejournal.com/lion_lamb/1834374.html#cutid1